Grins & Giggles Snowbirds If you look like your passport photo, you probably aren’t well enough to travel. Why don’t locals need weather apps anymore? They just count how many out-of-province or out-of-country licence plates are in town. What do migratory birds and snowbirds have in common? Both start honking as soon as they get a little chilly. Snowmen Where do snowmen like to dance? At the snowball. What does a snowman like on his cake? Lots of icing. Where does a snowman keep his money? In the snowbank. What is a snowman’s favourite drink? Iced tea. What do you call a snowman with a six pack? The abdominal snowman. What do you call a snowman without a carrot? Nobody nose. Shipwrecked A married couple was enjoying a luxury South Sea cruise until their liner was shipwrecked and they were washed ashore on a desert island – the only survivors. Day after day, they looked hopefully out to sea in the hope of spotting a passing vessel, but none came. As boredom set in, they started to think about their home back in Arizona. The wife asked, “Did you remember to pay the final instalment on the Chevrolet before we came away?” “No, honey, I clean forgot. Sorry.” ”Did you remember to pay the electric bill before we left home?” “No, I completely forgot. Sorry.” ”Did you remember to pay the gas bill?” ”You know, that slipped my mind, too. Sorry.” “And did you remember to pay the sixmonthly tax bill?” ”I knew there was something important I had to do. I’m really sorry, honey.” ”Well, at least there’s one good thing,” sighed the wife. “What’s that?” ”They’ll find us.” She said… The best way to travel with kids is not to. After 18 years together, my husband still thinks it’s hilarious to point out the window and yell, “Hay!” when we drive past a field. And, after 18 years together, I still continue to look. I don’t know which part annoys me more. Headed out on a road trip with my husband so if I’m never heard from again, he probably got us lost because he “doesn’t need directions.” That awkward moment when you run into the same lady at two rest areas 100 miles apart. State of Play A guy from Florida was suing American Airlines because an expensive piece of luggage wasn’t at baggage claim when he landed in New York. He lost his case. Fall is the most beautiful time in Florida. All the licence plates start changing colours. I always get a little sad during hurricane season in south Florida. You could say I have tropical depression. A retired Florida man was jailed for refusing to nap. He was resisting a rest. CSANews | FALL 2026 | 55
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