Grins & Giggles Flights of Fancy What do you call a paper airplane that can’t fly? Stationary. Why wasn’t the food good on the small aircraft? It was a little plane. What do we want? Low-flying airplane noises! When do we want them? NNNNNEEEEOOOOOWWWWWW What sound does an airplane make when it bounces? Boeing Boeing What has a nose and flies but can’t smell? An airplane! What’s the difference between an optimist and a pessimist? An optimist created the airplane; a pessimist created the seat belt. Ninety-five per cent of all car accidents occur within one mile of home. So, I moved two miles from my old house. Now I’m safe! What’s a car’s favourite movie genre? Auto-biography. A husband and wife were involved in an argument, both of them unwilling to admit that they might be wrong. “I’ll admit I was wrong,” the wife told her husband in a conciliatory attempt at straightening things out, “If you’ll admit that I’m right!” He agreed and, as gentlemen do, he let her go first. “I’m wrong”, she said. With a twinkle in his eyes, he said, “You’re right!” A luxury cruise liner is about to leave port when the engine breaks down. Every mechanic on staff tries everything that they can think of to get it running, but with no luck. Desperate, the captain begins asking passengers if there are any mechanics on board. A retired old salt steps forward and says, “I have 50 years’ experience as a navy mechanic – maybe I can help.” They show him the engine and, after looking it over for a few minutes, he grabs a ball peen hammer, walks over to one of the many pipes jutting from the engine and taps it with the hammer. The engine roars back to life, humming like the first day it was used. The captain thanks the man profusely and says, “just write up a bill and I’ll personally see to it that you’re compensated for saving this voyage.” The old salt scribbles on a slip of paper and hands it to the captain. It says: hit engine with hammer – $10,000. The captain is outraged. “I appreciate what you’ve done, but how can you possibly justify that price for just hitting the engine with a hammer”? The old salt grabs the paper, scribbles some more and hands it back. Now it says: Hitting engine with hammer – $5. Knowing exactly where to hit engine with hammer – $9,995. CSANews | FALL 2025 | 55
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