Grins & Giggles Dad Jokes! How does the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend? He gave her a ring. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What happens when a snowman throws a tantrum? He has a meltdown. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Why did an old man fall into a well? Because he couldn’t see that well! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – What did 50 Cent do when he was hungry? 58! Grandparent Jokes! A retired man now volunteers to entertain patients in assisted living homes and hospitals. He visited one hospital in Brooklyn and brought along his portable keyboard. After telling jokes and singing songs at patients’ bedsides, he said farewell and added, “I hope you get better.” One elderly gentleman replied, “I hope you get better, too.” – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I’m not hard of hearing… I’ve just heard enough. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Prayer for Good Health for Seniors: God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – A frustrated wife told me the other day, her definition of retirement: “Twice as much husband on half as much pay.” Golf Jokes! How many golfers does it take to change a light bulb? Fore! – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I’m so bad at golf that I have to get my ball retriever regripped more often than my clubs. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I’m a scratch golfer. After each shot, I scratch my head and wonder where my ball went. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Golf balls are like eggs. They are both white, sold by the dozen and a week later, you have to go out and buy more. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – I shot one under at golf today. One under a tree, one under a bush and one under the water. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one. – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – CSANews | SUMMER 2023 | 49
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