I’ve never seen the Canadian political environment so polarized, petty and unforgiving. Anger is seen as strength, compromise as weakness. It’s bloody for the country and deeply harmful for the body politic. It stabs the soul and the psyche, and people really should know better. It’s easy to ignore it all, pretend that it’s not happening and concentrate on what is good and grand. But it matters – for us, and especially for our children and grandchildren. It could, if we’re not very careful, get a lot worse. This became especially poignant recently as I sat in the hospital with a man who was clearly dying. He’d lived a long life and wasn’t in too much discomfort. That’s a gift in itself because, as a priest, I can assure you that it’s not always the case. But there was something punching away at him, an irritant that was causing pain and hurt. After a while, he trusted me enough to share what it was. He had lost contact with his only child – a son – many years earlier. As is common, the original cause had been magnified by time and distance. I asked him if he wanted me to try and find his son. He knew – we both knew – that his life was coming to an end. “Do what you damned well like,” he said. In my experience, that passes for enthusiasm. Their surname was sufficiently uncommon for me to find four possibilities, and the second phone call led to the right person. I called and introduced myself. Long pause. I said some more, explained in detail. Further silence. Then, “What does he want of me? I mean, what does he want of me!” I said that he wanted nothing, but that perhaps for both of their sakes, a brief meeting… if it wasn’t too traumatic or triggering… might be a good thing. “Give me the address,” he said. “I doubt I’ll come, but whatever. Whatever.” Two days later, the nurse asked to see me. There was, she said, someone here for the patient. He’d asked for me to stay while he visited. Of course. And there he was. In his 50s, well-dressed, fit looking. The two men stared at each other. Then the son ran to the bed and embraced his father. All I could hear between the tears from both of them was, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry” bouncing back from father to son, and son to father. I offered to leave, but they both said no. There I was, a stunned observer of beauty postponed. The tears dried, they spoke, tried to explain and understand why a serious but not invincible argument had led to two decades of loneliness and regret. Then came the son’s wife, then his children – the grandchildren of this flawed, but good man on his deathbed. I said that I had to take a call but, in fact, went to another room to weep. The next day, the man’s mortal life – his time in this land of mere shadows – was completed, and his son, his daughter-in-law and his grandchildren were there for the passing. So were grace, love and forgiveness. I pray that I will never forget it. To forgive isn’t to surrender or submit, to reconsider one’s position isn’t to “sell out,” and to make a leap of empathy isn’t “woke” or “politically correct.” No, it’s human… humanity at its best and most real and full. It’s certainly transformed my life and changed many others. Yet social media is distended with armchair warriors roaring their defiance and rudeness in a sad, broken attempt to display toughness, and that’s now mirrored in federal politics. This approach isn’t confined to one political side; extremes of left and right both play the sordid game. They drag the whole process into the mud. Misleading sound bites, outrageous claims and empty bombast. There are also frequent attempts, often successful, to silence and cancel dissenting voices. I’ve been a victim of this myself, from bullies at both political extremes. We don’t have to be passive in our beliefs, and passion is not only unavoidable but often desirable. But with passion must come decency, truth and respect for those with whom we disagree. That’s absolutely essential. We need to rethink, listen, forgive and improve. If an estranged father and his son can do it, so can those who aspire to high office, or any office for that matter. Time is running out, it really is. Opinion with Michael Coren CSANews | SUMMER 2023 | 13
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