In Florida, not knowing that Coronavirus would soon change our lives, I decided to learn to play golf. After watching PGA tournaments on TV, it seemed so easy…although I couldn’t figure out how highly paid pros ($2 million for a few days’ work) could possibly miss a simple six-foot putt! So I signed up for a year’s worth of golf lessons at our local Lakeland course. But first, I needed clubs. So off to our favourite flea market in Auburndale, where I found a used bag of clubs for $50. Howwas I to know that there were left- and right-handed sets...darn, I had just purchased a useless bunch of lefties. Luckily, I was able to trade the clubs at another market in exchange for a putter, #7 iron and a driver. The stall owner agreed to install new handles − oops, I mean grips...and threw in a better bag with fewer holes. I was in business. Now, some of you know that I’m a passionate sailor. I understand simple terms such as boom-vang, topping lift and gybing, but now I had to learn such weird words as mulligan, bogey (lots of those) and par − whatever that is. I do, however, take a certain amount of national pride in learning that the term “Mulligan” originated in Montreal, in honour of 1920s Canadian golfer David Mulligan. David was famous for having to replay many “errant” shots from the same tee, with no penalty...a tradition I continued. My introduction to golf clubs, names, numbers and angles was also a complete mystery. Why is a metal driver called a wood, and why A First-Timer Discovers the Mysteries of Golf In January 2020, travel writer Dave Hunter took up golf...just in time for the pandemic. are fibreglass steel-headed clubs called irons and what the devil is a hybrid? Obviously, a Scottish trick to humble we Canadian/ English Sassenachs. My first golf lesson with instructor Ben was learning to tee off. First, he taught me how to address the ball. Well, let me tell you that I have often addressed my ball at the tee...and most of it is not repeatable here! Last week, I teed off and the ball went five feet to the left. My next swing took it two feet ahead and my third repeated this nonsense...a game of Whack a Mole; I became a“Mulligan Maker.” Apparently it’s all about balance, swing rhythm and twisting the body into unnatural shapes. So, Ben hadme stand on half of a tennis ball. This ensured that my balance was on target and that I didn’t lift my left foot. I had to keep my arm straight and remember to finish by rotating with my belt facing the distant green. Give me a break! Incidentally, I now know that golf balls have a life of their own. On TV, you sometimes hear PGA champs talk to their ball while in flight, “More to the right...get down...NOW!” Giving up, Ben decided that it was safer to move on to “explore” the fairway long game. Why do they call them fairways? Inmy experience, there’s nothing fair about them. Using the techniques from my teeing lesson, I found my belt starting to guide my ball into the woods which treacherously line the open space ahead. I spent so much time looking for balls in the undergrowth, that I decided to switch from white to a bright yellow. Now they were easier to find, while keeping a wary eye out for alligators and poisonous snakes. 26 | www.snowbirds.org Travel
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