Grins & Giggles Bed, Bath, and Way, Way Beyond In the hardware store, a clerk asked, “Can I help you find anything?” “How about my misspent youth,” joked my husband. The clerk shot back, “We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets.” Retirement, AWife’s View A frustrated wife told me the other day her definition of retirement: “Twice as much husband on half as much pay.” Natural Bull Enhancement A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, “All that bull does is eat grass. Won’t even look at a cow.” “Take him to the vet,” his friend suggested. The next week, John is much happier. “The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows!” he told his pal. “Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbour’s cows! He’s like a machine!” “What kind of pills were they?” asked the friend. “I don’t know, but they’ve got a peppermint taste.” The Intellectuals Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel in the Catskills. They were sitting on the veranda one summer evening, watching the sun set. The history professor asked the psychology professor, “Have you read Marx?” To which the professor of psychology replied, “Yes, and I think it’s these damned wicker chairs.” CSANews | SPRING 2017 | 49
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